Knitting The Yarns

White haired women in knitted shawls have descended on the hotel full of comic fans. It's knot a Stevie Nicks concert, rather a knitting convention. The mind boggles. I have to get in there and SEE it. Is it as big as the comic convention? Do they have panels? Do dealers pack them in with the yarn equivalent of 25-cent longboxes of comics? Do B-list knitting stars sign autographs and wait impatiently for coffee to be brought to them by show lackeys? Do they have a program that hypes the newest and highest graded needles yet made? What can be going on over there? What would happen if, in a Xanadu-like moment of colliding cultures, the two came together - hundreds of grannies, housewives and the oddly high percentage of lesbians (who knew they could knit? and where are the gay boys? Is this too gay even for my queeny brethren?) and thousands of unwashed fanboys in zippered tights (it was fatally Distracting to see the zipper pull hanging down from Green Lantern's crotch ... ease of urinating is one thing, but does it need to Hang there, a flaccid metal embarrassment?)? Who would win?

I'm betting on lesbian grannies and their aluminum needles.